June 22, 2020
Today we’re going to talk about our date nights! You know, it’s so interesting how dating changes once you’re no longer dating and you’re living in the same house, you’re married, and you do so many things together every single day. When we got married, we spent a lot of time together for the first few months and then started getting back into our personal hobbies and leisure activities. It wasn’t long before our date nights seemed a little too far apart, and we both decided we wanted more than just an occasional spur of the moment date night.
Why We Chose to Have Regular Date Nights
A: We realized we needed to spend time together intentionally, so we started having regular date nights! Our initial conversations were spent talking about what we could do on a date night. We both love food and eating at fancy restaurants, but if you listened to episode 8 where we talk about Money and Budgeting, you know that we decided not to spurge on eating out very often at all. Many people envision going out to dinner or going to a movie when they hear the words “date night.” But for us it was important to find many different options for things we could do on a date night as well as think about the reasons why we wanted to have a date night regularly.
In this episode we’re going to talk about what we do on our date nights and why we think they are so important to have a thriving marriage.
C: Andrea and I decided to do our date nights every Friday night. Yes, Every Week, ladies and gentlemen. Some of you are thinking, “That is so often!” and we thought the same thing when we decided that. But we haven’t missed many nights in the past few years, because it really is a great time together! The reason for a regular scheduled date night is this: We want to pour into each other regularly so that our marriage can be refreshed together, continue to grow together, and constantly come back to the reason we got married: to be together. No dream is bigger than that. No business is bigger than that. No hobby is more fun than that. And no people are more important than we are to each other.
A: Right, Cody is really speaking to the reasons why we have date night. We have a regular date night in order to remind each other that our marriage is worth carving out time for. Our marriage is worth intentionality. The only way we can keep growing and moving forward is if we spend quality time together, doing things we love! We chose Friday nights as our date night because it’s a really nice transition from the work week to the weekend.
Now let’s talk about what to do on date nights! We generally incorporate three elements into date night: good conversation, a fun activity, and something special to eat or drink. This could look similar or totally different for you.
What We Like To Do On Date Nights
C: The things we like to do are:
- Going for walks
- Riding our bikes
- Getting ice cream
- Playing disc golf
- Sitting on the deck and watching birds and squirrels
- Going for a drive
- Walking to our favorite bench swing and talking
- Reading questions from “365 Connecting Questions for Couples”
- We used to google search “things to ask your spouse” or “questions to get to know someone”
- Watching a tv show
- Listening to music while we lie on the floor
- Talking about life, dreams, funny stories, hard stories, growing up, yard projects, food, trips, and anything else that comes up.
Talk About Your Preferences
C: If you haven’t ever talked about what you each want date night to look like, you NEED to do it. This is one of those situations that if you have not communicated your preferences, your partner won’t know that you want to go for a walk or throw a baseball or watch a show. I mean, come on, the purpose of date night is to connect while doing something enjoyable, right!? So talk about the things you love to do and want to do. Additionally, talk about who will be planning the date night or whether you will plan it together. Setting expectations will ensure you are both on the same page about your date nights!
The Reason Behind It All
A thriving marriage doesn’t happen naturally. We believe that date nights play a huge role in making your relationship stronger and helping you feel more connected to one another. Make sure to listen to the full episode where we go more in detail with all of these points! We would love to connect with you and hear what you thought about the episode! Feel free to send us a message at firstname.lastname@example.org or on Instagram at @morethanmarriagepodcast!
If you liked this episode, be sure to check out our previous episodes here!